The Silence Post

The Blog to Be Named Later returns with a possibly futile appeal to reason.

The so called “stimulus bill” has become the whipping boy for every conservative political commentator in this country. The discontent over this measure has trickled down to the average guy, who works harder and earns less, and who doesn’t understand why the government is “pissing his money away.” Americans hear the term “stimulus” and naturally expect some stimulation. It hasn't happened, and people are angry. People are furious. Tea parties are underway.

But is it rational anger? I doubt it. Any time Congress approves a large expenditure, there is always going to be senators and congressmen slipping things into the bill that don’t belong there. I won’t defend that, although some people’s definition of “pork” is either very broad or very misleading.

For instance, this summer two Republican senators, John McCain and Tom Coburn, released a joint report highlighting the most wasteful spending provisions of the stimulus bill. One oft mentioned item is the $54 million that the government gave to the Napa Valley Wine Train. This does not sound like a good use of taxpayer money. The only problem is, the money didn't go to this train and these senators knew it.

Oh, I know, the idea that John McCain would screw up on money matters and do something irrational and reckless is completely out of character. There was $54 million dollars of stimulus money directed to the Napa Valley, but it was appropriated for flood control. It has nothing to do with this wine train, whatever that is, except that apparently the train passes through the area. This is like saying the government wrote me a check for $54 million dollars because I drove on Interstate 95 last week. It sounds outrageous, but it just ain’t so.

Still, there is no doubt that there must be truly wasteful projects slipped into this bill, and that McCain and Coburn have (I hope) an actual point and aren’t completely playing politics with this. And the larger point is inescapable: the stimulus bill isn’t stimulating the economy, right? Surely that’s true, right? Right?

Wrong. The money spent in the stimulus bill has put people back to work and has saved the jobs of millions of people. Is the economy great? Of course not. But think of it this way. Let’s say you fail to take care of yourself. For years, you drink too much, you eat too much, you don’t get any exercise or display any discipline. So you have a major heart attack and you’re rushed to the hospital. At the emergency room, you are revived and stabilized. Then you’re moved to intensive care. Would you try to sit up in bed and claim that the treatment didn’t work? No, of course not. You’re not on your feet again yet, but you’re still alive.

That’s what Obama’s 2009 stimulus bill did. It kept the economy alive. Just like Bush’s Wall Street bailout the previous year. People hated it, but it was medicine. It tasted bad going down, but we needed it. Had it not been enacted, there would have been a catastrophic failure of this economy. You think it’s bad now? Imagine 80% of small businesses in this country out of business because of a lack of available financing. Imagine dozens of Fortune 500 companies out of business. Imagine tens of millions more people out of work and without health insurance. Imagine the overall unemployment rate not at 10%, but at 25%. Imagine a new Great Depression. Yeah, that sounds great. We should have done that. Look, I understand wanting to stick it to the fat cats who caused this situation. But I’m not going to cut my own throat to do it, and I think if people who bitched about the bailout stopped and thought about it, they would come to the same conclusion.

There’s a joke about hurricanes and how they are named. They don’t sound menacing enough, and people fail to take notice. Earl? Sounds like some dumbass coming to town in a pickup truck. Katrina? I knew a German foreign exchange student named Katrina once. She was cute. They need to use names that better convey danger. If you turned on the news, and saw that Hurricane Bad Motherfucker was headed your way, you’d leave town, wouldn’t you?

This is the problem with the stimulus bill. It’s known by the wrong name. It’s not a stimulus bill. It’s a stay afloat bill, chock full of things that we just have to pay for, whether they help the economy flourish or not. Because of political necessity, it was sold as some kind of steroid for the economy that was going to fix everything. And that’s ridiculous. But that’s modern politics. You have to sell things to the American citizen, even legislation, because we have the attention span of a three year old at Chuck E. Cheese. Consequently, we’re all familiar with the stimulus bill, which we hate. And yet, we know nothing about the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, even though it just saved our collective asses. Guess what? They’re the same thing.

So what did Obama and the Democrats “piss money away” on with this legislation? Well, let’s look at the big ticket items:

-$53 billion in aid to local school districts, preventing teacher layoffs and further cutbacks in education. I don’t know, that sounds important. You’d think that the average mom or dad on Facebook who can’t speak two words without mentioning their kids could get on board with this one.

-$105 billion for infrastructure development, including highways and bridges. Hmm. I don’t know. Yes, it’s true that infrastructure is vital to commerce in this country and helps create jobs both in construction and in the development of new industries. And of course, it’s nice to drive on an interstate bridge without plunging 100 feet to your death as happened to those folks in Minnesota a couple of years ago. Still, I don’t know. Commerce, employment, public safety? Sounds kind of frivolous to me.

-$18 billion for water, sewage and environmental cleanup, including $4.6 billion for flood control. Anybody in Louisiana really want to argue about the need for flood control? If you like, we could just figure out the cost of half a million life preservers and give them out if you’d prefer that. That would be cheaper. No? Okay.

-$25 billion to keep the COBRA program alive for people who have involuntarily lost their jobs. My brother worked in the publishing industry for thirty years. In 2008, he was diagnosed with cancer. A few months later, he was laid off. Ask him if funding COBRA is a good idea. Don’t want to argue that one either? Okay then.

I know what you’re thinking. "He's cherry picking different items to make it sound like this wasn’t a huge, wasteful government program. Surely the most expensive items are not this noble."

And you’re right. Sort of. Because I haven’t mentioned the single biggest expenditure of Obama’s 2009 stimulus bill. Conjure up your worst nightmare, conservatives. Is it comprehensive health care? Welfare? A grant to build mosques on every block in America? No, it’s worse! It’s tax cuts!

“Oh no, tax cuts! Aaaaahhhhh!.....Wait, what? Tax cuts? Really? In Obama’s stimulus bill? And that’s the biggest item in the bill? Come on. “

It’s true. $288 billion in tax cuts.

“Oh, I get it. More tax cuts for the fat cats, for Wall Street, and I get to pay for it.”

Nope. There are billions of dollars for corporate tax credits and reductions, but over 80% of the tax cuts are for individuals. Payroll tax credits, child tax credits, college tax credits, homebuyer tax credits, deduction of sales tax from car purchases, and reduction in personal income taxes.

*Silence*

Yeah, I thought so.

The Stupid Post

The Blog to Be Named Later returns with a sad but true fact. The American people don’t know who they are.

See, to understand who you are, you have to know where you came from. You have to know your own story. When somebody says, “Where ya from?” you can’t answer with a blank stare. When someone asks you to tell them about yourself, you can’t simply mention your love for Crocs and mixed martial arts and think that’s a sufficient response. And when a pollster comes up to you, an American citizen, and asks you to name the country that America declared its independence from, you can’t get the answer wrong.

But that is exactly what has happened. In a new poll conducted by Marist College, more than 1 in 4 Americans failed to correctly identify the country from which the United States declared its independence in 1776. To be fair, that means that 74% of Americans can identify Great Britain as the country in question. It also means that based on the current estimate of the U.S. population, no less than 75 million Americans would get the answer wrong.

The results of the survey, when broken down, are essentially an indictment of this country’s educational system. 20% of those surveyed failed to name any country at all, preferring to go with “Unsure” as their answer. Other responses include China, Japan, and Mexico. Yes, that’s correct, we declared our independence from Mexico. As a resident of New England, we frequently have ceremonies commemorating Paul Revere’s midnight ride to warn citizens, “The Mexicans are coming!” Oh wait…

I am particularly happy to see that there are people who think that the United States was once a colony of Japan. That makes perfect sense. I guess when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, they were bombing their own people? What, exactly, was the reason that we revolted against Japan? Didn’t like sushi?

Of course, I can understand people thinking that America once belonged to China. They basically own us now, so that’s not such a leap.

We love to roll our eyes about these things. Ha ha, look at the dummy on Leno, getting the question wrong. On some level, it makes us feel better about ourselves. But it shouldn’t. We should each feel worse, because while it’s easy to laugh in the present, history is as much about the future as the past. In The Tempest, Shakespeare said “What’s past is prologue.” Of course, Shakespeare lived in England, and knew nothing of our great revolutionary struggle against…er…uh…hang on, it’ll come to me…

The Red Herring Post

The Blog to Be Named Later returns for a brief rebuttal on a silly issue. There is a tradition of sorts that the President of the United States visits Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day to lay a wreath at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Unfortunately, we now have a president who was not born in this country, who has no respect for the military, cares nothing for the troops or their families and would rather spend Memorial Day on vacation rather than honor this nation’s heroes.

Or some would have you believe, anyway. President Obama chose not to attend this year’s ceremonies, opting instead to send the Vice President in his place, and instead took his family back to Chicago for a much delayed visit home. Of course, the burdens of the presidency do not leave the occupant of the office, whether or not he is actually in the office. I don’t think this is primarily a controversy about vacation time. I think most people regard the president, any president, taking a break from work as entirely understandable. The previous occupant of the White House spent 490 days, more than one year of his eight in office, at his ranch in Texas. It was not terribly controversial, except for the perception that this president was disengaged in the summer of 2001 prior to 9/11, and was disinterested and disengaged in the summer of 2005 during Katrina. But the fairness of those charges really should be separate from the question of vacation. I think most people would agree that some time off from one of the toughest jobs in the world is a good idea.

No, the main “issue” seems to be that the president didn’t spend Memorial Day honoring the troops at a ceremony. Which is a great story that seems to indicate that the president really doesn’t have the proper respect for the military.

Except for the fact that it’s not true.

You see, while Arlington is the most famous of our national cemeteries, it is not the only one. It turns out that the president went to Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery in Illinois for a ceremony there. He then followed that with a trip to the Hines Fisher House at the Edward Hines VA Hospital, where he met with wounded veterans.

Yes, that is outrageous conduct. I can see why people are pissed.

People should be upset, but not at the president. People should be mad at organizations like Fox News, that stir up bullshit stories like this. People should be annoyed at their friends who copy silly stories like this into their Facebook status without checking the facts. And people should be critical of themselves. Why? Because in addition to getting too much of our news from entertainment driven media, we have become far too vulnerable to the impulse to believe anything bad about any public official. Sure, there are bad apples. And there is plenty of good reason to be cynical. But it doesn’t have to be the only reaction we are capable of.

The Reason Post

The Blog to Be Named Later Returns in defense of reason. This is not to say in defense of health care reform, although I reluctantly favor it. More than legislation is under assault today. The American ability to debate issues calmly is in danger of extinction.

This trend is evident in the halls of Congress, on television, on message boards. I am generally of the opinion that Facebook is more enjoyable without politics. What is normally a forum for catching up with friends becomes something of a virtual war zone when politics is mentioned. Yet while I deplore the war, I will not unilaterally disarm.

I readily confess that I am guilty of what I accuse others of. Since last night, when the House of Representatives passed the Senate health care bill, provoking an onslaught of negative commentary from my “friends” on Facebook, I have referred to some of them as “stupid bastards” and posted a quote from scripture that essentially accuses Christians who oppose the charitable functions of this legislation as being hypocrites. However, I am pleased to stand by those remarks. Allow me to explain.

Several weeks ago, Rush Limbaugh announced plans to leave the country if health care reform passed. Although I have offered to help him pack, I am not yet aware of any travel arrangements that Rush has made. Therefore I assume his comment was satirical in nature. I’m not entirely sure what to make of a comment I read on Facebook last night, that perhaps it was now time to “succeed” from the United States. That’s not satirical, it’s just stupid. If you’re going to re-fight the Civil War to avoid giving health care to the poor, then learn what secession is. At least the people who wanted to keep slavery could spell the word.

As for my other remarks, I have no preference for another person’s religious affiliation. The next person I convert will be my first. I’m not even settled on my own religious views. However, because of the nature of my studies, I have become somewhat acquainted with at least the history of religion. I’ve noticed that many of the same people who frequently use Facebook to post requests for prayer, quote scripture and so forth, are the ones furiously typing expletives and complaints in all caps because of the passage of this bill. To these apparently devout Christians, let me offer the following passage: In the book of Mark, Jesus said, "You lack one thing; go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."

Now, I’m no Bible scholar, but that sounds very different from “Why I gotta pay more taxes to the gummint so someone who don’t work gets to go to the doctor? Nuh uh!”

Of course, I realize that you can find a passage in scripture in support of or against pretty much anything, because these words were written by flawed, imperfect human beings. Still, Christianity, as I understand it, is not religion a la carte, where you pick and choose which teaching of Jesus that you happen to like. It is therefore inconsistent and, dare I say, hypocritical, to oppose these reforms solely on that basis after spending months turning your Facebook page into a prayer group. Find another objection. Say we can’t afford it. Say it’s unconstitutional. Fine. You could make a reasonable case for either of those. But please, take a deep breath and type in lower case characters first.

The Free Advice Post

In the presidential campaign of 1800, Thomas Jefferson was subjected to substantial abuse by his critics. He was called a “mean spirited, low lived fellow…sired by a mulatto father” and it was speculated that if he became president that “murder, robbery, rape, adultery and incest will be openly taught and practiced.”

That is but a short selection of what was said of our third president, and he was not known to have replied to such criticism, understanding that to do so would be to dignify it with a response. Jefferson also well understood the nature of politics and the passion with which people engage in it.

In 1860, Abraham Lincoln was described in a newspaper as a “grotesque baboon.” Lincoln ignored such commentary, except when he saw fit to make light of his own appearance with self deprecating remarks. He too understood the price of participation.

Throughout American history, presidents and other politicians have been forced to deal with an unrelenting barrage of criticism of their conduct, official and otherwise. They are mocked for their lack of personal charm (Richard Nixon) or their clumsiness (Gerald Ford). Politicians are teased for their deficiencies in spelling (Dan Quayle) or for wearing goofy outfits (Michael Dukakis). Often the criticism focuses on a public figure’s private life (Eisenhower, Kennedy, and the list goes on and on). And once in a while, the criticism even centers on the politician’s children.

It is this singularly unfair part of being a public figure that has set you off once again. After taking offense at remarks made by David Letterman last summer, now you’re insulted by an apparent reference to you on the television show Family Guy.

Really, Sarah? Is your epidermis that delicate?

Look, nobody is saying that this sort of behavior is fair or right. But if you’re going to become the President of the United States, then in addition to sending you greetings from my new home in Montreal, could I suggest that you toughen up a bit? You’ve already confessed to a sneaking admiration for Hillary Clinton; you’re going to need to look to her husband for tips on how to handle the big time. Let’s face it: given all the personal drama, the Palin family is the Clinton family in snowshoes. If you’re going to have teen pregnancies, and aborted shotgun weddings, almost relatives posing in Playgirl, then maybe you should give Bill a call and learn how he handled the media pounding that resulted from tawdry behavior and familial black sheep.

I know what you’re thinking, Sarah. “But Clinton brought all that onto himself with his own personal conduct. This is about my children!” I know, the liberal media has no respect for your son or daughter and their right to grow up outside the public eye. This kind of dastardly conduct reminds me of the time someone told a nasty joke about poor Chelsea Clinton at a fundraiser. Oh, wait, that was John McCain that did that.

Anyway, Sarah, you can’t have it both ways. When some right wing group offers you $100,000 and two first class plane tickets to come make a snarky speech attacking President Obama, you can’t say “You Betcha!” and then complain when someone comes after you. You can’t quit your job when the scrutiny is too much and then step back onto the public stage by working for Fox News and expect a free pass. You can’t expect two hundred years of fierce criticism in American politics to pass you by, especially when you partake in that tradition yourself.

After all, Sarah, you know how to solve this problem. Go back to Alaska and stay there. Nobody teases Mike Dukakis anymore, now that he is quietly teaching at Northeastern University. People tend to leave Dan Quayle alone. Even George Walker Bush is granted a modicum of peace and quiet because he has left the stage. If you can take the pounding, by all means, remain in public life. But if not, perhaps you should follow the advice of another oft criticized politician named Harry Truman: “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”